Technical Difficulties
by Warren Gage
Summary: A Christmas present causes strange happenings in teenager Scott Bronsin's world.
1. Technical Difficulties: Part 1

All characters mentioned from the Bloody Roar series are copyright their respective owners.

"Merry Christmas!"  My aunt and uncle screamed as they barged in through the front door.  That's the thing about Christmas at my house; no one plans when they come, they just show up through the night.  Oh well, I thought, at least they bring presents with them.  "Oh and here's something for you, Scott!"  My aunt dumped a shoe box-sized box in my hands.  She had covered it in bright, and I mean bright green wrapping paper.  I tore it off and opened the box to find…another box.  I could see my aunt laughing quietly with my parents about the gag whereas I just forced a smile and picked up the box inside.  It was about the size of a DVD case, so I assumed that they got me some crappy movie.  I tore off the paper and found it was actually a game.

"Bloody Roar: Primal Fury?"  I read the title aloud.  "What the hell is this?"

"It's a game!"  MY aunt replied with a smile.  "You like games, don't you?"

"…Yeah, you're right!  Thanks!"  

I ducked into my room and closed the door.  If there was one thing I DIDN'T like about the holidays (other than bad gifts) it was talking with relatives I'd never seen before.  Seeing as how it was either the game or the uncomfortable talk about what other relatives I have that I don't know about yet, I decided to pop the game into the Game Cube.  

"Why am I even bothering?  I've never liked fighting games."  Then there was an opening scene.  It was all anime and showed various people in different places.  "…Ugly…ugly…hot…hmm, she's hot…ugly…broken mirror ugly…" I said to myself as I watched the characters go by.  Then a man appeared on the screen and turned into some kind of wolf creature.  "What the fuck!?"  I said almost too loud; I was afraid my parents would hear me, but they were talking too loud to hear it.  I sighed in relief and went straight to arcade mode and cyled through the characters.  "Yugo?  What the hell kind of a name is Yugo?...Xion…mm, maybe later…Busuzima…freak…Shina?  Now we're getting somewhere!"  I promptly selected the girl and moved straight to the first fight.  It showed the two characters (mine and that green-haired jackass).  Mine smashed her fist into her hand and said, 'You're goin down!'  "I like her style."  I thought out loud.  When the fight began I simply mashed a bunch of buttons.  About half way in my character transformed into a big ass cat.  "How the hell did I do that!?"  I kept fighting and eventually won both rounds.  By then I had figured out which button induced the transformation, though I still didn't understand why they transformed.  I paused the game when I got to the seventh round, ducked through a hallway full of relatives, and got to the computer to do a search.  It turned up other Bloody Roar titles along with the stories to each of them, which I spent a good hour and a half reading through, complete with the occasional 'Wow' and 'Well I'll be damned' before I fell asleep at the keyboard.

"Rise and shine!"  My mom told me as she walked into the room.

"Wha…What time is it?"  I asked, prying the side of my face off of the desk.

"It's almost eleven in the morning.  You missed the most interesting conversation with your aunt Claire."

"I wasn't missing anything."  I told her as I stood up.

"You really need to talk more to other people.  What are you going to do when you get to college?"

"When I get to college I'll worry about it."  I walked back towards my room and saw the game left on pause.  "Oh crap!"  I picked up the controller and started playing again.

"You know you should try out some of your other Christmas gifts!"  My mom told me.

"What would you suggest?"  I asked.  She walked out of the room and returned with an old book.  "Who gave me that piece of crap?" I asked.

"This was a present from your grandmother."  She set the book on top of the Game Cube.  I leaned over to read the title.

"Bending Reality: How to Bring Life to Illusion.  What, grandma was a witch doctor?"

"Stop calling her that!"  My mom gave me the evil eye.

"Alright, sorry."  I stood up and moved towards the book, flipping through the pages of it.  "Let's see…naw, that's just corny…too gross…how about this?"  I pointed to a section entitled 'Stories of Life'.

"Go ahead and read it.  I have to go run some errands."  She walked out of the room.

I started reading through the section aloud.  "Let it be known that there are several realities aside from our own.  Simple things such as dreams and stories are in fact glimpses of these alternate realities, which can be brought unto ours through the passage below."  I admit that my interest was peaked.  It said that by simply sampling a story or even a picture of the alternate reality it could be brought into existence with ours!  I decided that I should simply read the passage without any kind of sample first, just in case this crap actually did something.  As I was reading it I swore that I could feel the book shaking, but for some reason I just kept reading and by the time I finished it, the book was actually shaking up and down very hard.  I took a few steps back and the book simply dissolved into a pile of ash on top of the Game Cube.  "What…the…fuck?"  I stood there staring at the ash pile for a good fifteen minutes before cleaning up the ash which, somehow, seeped through the Game Cube cover and got all over the game inside.  Strangely enough the ash was bunched around it, like it was being attracted to it somehow.  I decided to ignore it and cleaned up all of the ash.  As I threw it out my mom walked through the door with a couple grocery bags in her hands.

"How was that book?"  She asked.

"It was…uh…interesting."  I said.

"You see?"  She told me, "I knew you'd like it."

"Then the book just dissolved."  I said into the phone.

"That's pretty messed up, man."  My friend Alex answered back.

"That's not all.  It seeped through the Game Cube and got all over the game; Bloody Roar: Primal Fury."

"You've already told me the game name, twice in fact."

"Oh, sorry."

"Does the game still work?"

"Yeah, and it's actually good, too.  You see there are these things called zoanthropes and-"

"You've already told me!"

"Oh, sorry again."

"No problem."

"Well I guess I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yeah, damn school.  I wish they'd let us off the day after New Years."

"Oh well, that's our school system for you."

"Yeah whatever.  See ya."

I hung up collapsed on the bed.  Tomorrow was going to be a living hell; I was going back to school for the first time in over a week.  Oh well, I'd get through it.  I set my alarm and fell asleep.


	2. Technical Difficulties: Part 2

All characters mentioned from the Bloody Roar series are copyright their respective owners.

            BEEP!  BEEP!  BEEP!  BEEP!

            Yup, I set the volume on the alarm way too loud again.  I fumbled around the top of it, searching for the button to switch it off.  Finally I managed to shut the alarm off.  I rubbed my eyes and put on my glasses, then fell out of the bed like an idiot.

            "Damn school."  I muttered.  Who on earth decided that high school started at 7:30 in the morning?  

I stumbled into the kitchen past my mom, who was getting herself some coffee, grabbed a couple of Nutri-Grain bars, poured myself a cup of milk, and walked into the family room to watch some TV while I ate.  

"Part of a balanced breakfast," I said sarcastically as I started on the first bar.  I flipped on the TV, knowing that there was nothing but news on.  Oh well, I could catch the weather to see whether or not I'd need a four-wheel drive car to get to school.  It looked as though I would; the five-day forecast was predicting snow the whole week.  "Well that's just terrific."  I polished off the last bar and the milk before changing my clothes, gathering my books in my book bag, and heading out the door.

"You be careful!"  My mom shouted from the door.

"I was planning on that, mom!"  I grabbed my car keys and unlocked my car; a pale blue Trailblazer.  It wasn't my first choice for a car, but it got me from point A to point B so I didn't mind.  What I did mind, though, was the thick layer of ice covering the windshield.  "This is going to be a rough day."  I said as I grabbed the snowbrush from the backseat.

Homeroom was incredibly dull as usual; announcements about girl's basketball, a meeting for some random club, blah-bitty blah, blah, blah!  I dragged myself up the stairs to get to my least favorite of my classes; English.  As I was going up Alex came up from behind me; we were both in the same class.

"So, what happened with the dusty book?"

"It's gone as far as I know.  I don't even know why it disappeared.  It said it needed some kind of sample to work."

"Assuming that it does work, you mean."

"Good point.  Did we have any English homework?"  I asked as we walked into the classroom, oblivious to everyone else including the teacher.

"I don't think so."

"Alright class," My teacher, Mrs. Callaway said, "Pass in your questions from The Pit and the Pendulum."

"Good call, Alex."  I whispered as I took my seat behind him.

"Um, I don't…well…"  I could hear a voice from the opposite side of the room; one that seemed strangely familiar.

"Oh, I'm sorry.  Everyone, I'd like you to say hello to a new student in our class.  Could you please stand up and tell us your name?"

_I know that voice,_ I thought to myself as I tried to see who was talking,_ But from where?_

The person stood up and my jaw dropped to nearly touching the desk I was sitting at.

"Well, my name is Uriko.  Uriko Nonomura."  The girl said.

"And when did you move here."  The teacher asked.

"Just recently."  She replied.

"Everyone say hello to Urito."

"Uriko."  She corrected the teacher.

"Hello, Uriko."  Half the class mumbled, being both bored and sleep-deprived.  I, however, was still in shock.  I nervously tapped Alex's shoulder.

"What is it!?"  He whispered back to me.

"Dude, she's from the game!"  I whispered to him.

"What!?"

"I'm telling you, man!  Uriko!  She's a character from the Bloody Roar game!"

"Maybe it's just a coincidence."

"Just a coincidence!?"  I whispered harshly.  "She looks just like she does in the game!"

"I don't know what she looks like."

I gave him a picture of Uriko from the game to compare the two.

"Holy shit, dude."  He handed the picture back.  "She looks just like her-wait, why are you carrying her picture around?"

"Never mind that, dude.  She doesn't just look like her, she _IS her!"  I said a little too loudly._

"Scott!  Alex!"  The teacher gave us both an ice-cold look.  "Would you like to continue this conversation of yours in detention?"

"We aren't aloud to talk in detention."  The words left my mouth before I could stop them.

"Okay, smart-alec.  You're both spending today in detention!"  She ran to her desk to get a pair of detention slips while the whole class laughed at us.  Mrs. Callaway was writing us up when she suddenly looked to Uriko.  "And you, missy.  That jacket isn't in the dress code.  Perhaps spending a day in detention with these two will help you remember that."

That's the thing about Mrs. Callaway; she'd give one detention, then look for anything out of place just so she could hand out another.  She walked towards me and Alex and gave us our detentions, then moved to the opposite side of the room to give Uriko hers.

"Looks like you'll get to have a friendly chat with your game goddess today."  Alex whispered back to me.

"Don't call her that."  I whispered harshly.

"Care to go for two detentions, boys?"  Mrs. Callaway told us.

"No ma'am."  We replied in unison.

Lunch was simply awful, but it's always been that way.  The food sucked, the vending machines were over-priced, and people had to hunt for seats to sit in because there were so many people eating.  I, on the other hand, packed my lunch every day so that I could get a seat early.  Alex started doing the same a few weeks into the school year.  For some reason, though, no one sat at the table with us.

"So what are you going to say to her?"  Alex asked as he bit into a ham sandwich.

"I have no clue."  I said.  "How do you talk to someone from a video game?"

"Just like a normal person."

"Normal person…you think she's a zoanthrope?"

"A what?"

"I explained it to you twice before."

"Oh, right, that transforming thing.  How the hell should I know?  Why not ask her?"

"Oh that would be a great ice breaker.  'Excuse me, can you turn into a cat?'"  The sarcasm was practically oozing from my mouth.  I suddenly saw something from the corner of my eye.  "Hey, it's her!"

Uriko was standing in the middle of the cafeteria with a tray in her hand, looking for a place to sit.

"Go get her, man!"  Alex nudged me.  "Do it now before the cheerleaders steal our seats."

"Okay, I'm going."  I nervously stood up and walked over to Uriko, then tapped her on the shoulder.  "Excuse me.  Do you need a place to sit?"

"Well," She answered, "I was looking for a friend of mine, but I suppose it couldn't hurt to find a seat.  Oh wait, there he is!"  She waved to a boy about ten feet away.

"Oh my God."  I muttered.

"What did you say?"  Uriko asked.

"Nothing."

By that time the kid was standing in right in front of me.

"Kenji, this is…what's your name?"

"Scott.  I'm in your English class."

"Oh, right.  Well, this is Kenji."

"How you doin?"  I extended my hand and he shook it.

"Do you know where we could find some seats?"  Kenji asked me.

"Follow me."  I said as I led them back to Alex and my table.  There were three chairs left; Alex was sitting in one of them.

"You're lucky I managed to hold on to these two!"  He told me with a shrug.

"Oh that's just great."  I looked at the two chairs and then at Kenji and Uriko.  "You know what?  You two take the chairs.  I'll just sit on my bookbag."

We all sat down.  I felt both like an idiot for sitting on my bookbag at lunch and like I was going insane because there were two Bloody Roar characters sitting at our table.  I noticed Uriko making a move towards the coleslaw on the tray.

"I'd stay away from that if I were you."  I told Kenji and Uriko as I pointed to the coleslaw.  "Last time somebody found ants in theirs."

"Thanks for the warning."  Kenji said with a disgusted look on his face.

"So how long have you two been here?"  Alex asked.

"Not even a week."  Uriko said in between sips of her soda.

"And you're already in school?"  I said.  "Well that sucks…not as much as a detention, though."

"Yeah."  Uriko sighed.  "Now I'll have to find a ride home."

If that wasn't a signal for me to jump in nothing was.  "I could give you a lift if you need it."

"Thanks."  She said.  "Why are you acting so nice?"

"Because I'm too damn nice."  I told her.

Just then someone walked behind me and threw an unopened soda can at the back of my head.

"SON OF A BITCH!"  I screamed as I rubbed the back of my head.  It was Jack Farthie, a member of the soccer, basketball, and for some reason gymnastics team.  Despite his athletic ability he was a complete ass to everyone around him.  He grinned evilly at me as he walked away.

"What are you going to do to him to get back at him?"  Alex asked me.

"Three things; Toilet paper, maple syrup, and his car."  I said with a smirk.  The bell rang and I grabbed my bookbag.  As I stood up I glanced towards Uriko.  "Well, see you in detention!"


	3. Technical Difficulties: Part 3

All characters mentioned from the Bloody Roar series are copyright their respective owners.

            2:17; only three minutes until detention.  Now that I think about it, this was the only time that I had actually looked forward to detention.

            "Three, two, one…"  I counted silently.

            DING!  The bell went off.  I practically leapt out of my seat, grabbed all of my stuff, and ran out the door, much to the surprise of everyone else in the class.  I didn't care, though.  How often is it that you get to spend time with a person from a video game?

            I saw Uriko in the hallway; she must have been looking for the room we had detention in.

            "It's in room 202; the auditorium."  I said as I approached her.

            "Oh, thanks."  She said.

            "Just follow me.  It's not that hard to find."

            What followed was the most awkward two minutes of my life.  That was, until we got to detention and took our seats.  As soon as we sat down a teacher walked in and banged a ruler on the desk; Mr. Hatherton.  He taught U.S. History to the freshmen and was also known as the shortest fuse in the entire school.  His face was horribly out of proportion with the rest of his head; his eyes were small, his nose was small, hell even his ears were small.  To top it off he had thin, white hair that looked like it was piled on top of his head.

            "Alright you punk-ass kids!"  He was almost shouting all the time.  "No bullshit today!  No paper airplanes, no talking, no faking a seizure to get out early, NO NOTHING!"

            The room was dead quiet for about five minutes.  Uriko was sitting two seats away from me; it was a rule that people had to sit every other seat.  They started that to catch people writing notes to each other.  People always found ways around that, though.

            I took out a piece of paper and started writing a note to Uriko:

Is it me or does he sound like Mr. Garrison from South Park with a bug up his ass?

I pushed the note off the edge of the crappy desk that was built in to the chair and kicked it to Uriko; the row of chairs in front of us blocked it from Mr. Hatherton's view.  Uriko read the note and began writing another one.  She dropped it on the floor and kicked it over to me.  It said:

I don't watch tv.

            I simply tore off a small piece of paper and wrote a very quick message back:

            Oh.

            We spent about half an hour in detention just writing back and forth to each other.  The one downfall to this plan was that there was now a slowly growing stack of paper near both of our seats; not big enough for the teacher to see, but still pretty big.  One note in particular I thought I could handle well, mostly because it was about a math problem:

            How do you integrate X^3+X+2?

            I spent a good five minutes trying to explain it to her until I finally gave up and wrote a message to her saying:

            It's magic.

            I saw her smirk out of the corner of my eye, but I also saw Mr. Hatherton glance at his watch.

            "Okay you living piles of cow shit!  Get the hell out!"  He said as he grabbed his suitcase and walked out.  I packed all my stuff up, including the notes Uriko had passed to me.  Uriko did the same with mine.

            "Where is your car parked?"  She asked as we walked out the door.

            "Just turn right and go out the doors."  I said.

            Another five inches of snow was on the ground.  I almost slipped and fell heading down the stairs to the parking lot, but I caught myself on the handrail.  Uriko laughed lightly at me.  All I could do was smile like an idiot as I gradually regained my balance.  It was then that Uriko looked at me with a strange look.

            "Why aren't you wearing a jacket?"  She asked.  "It's freezing out here."

            "I love cold weather."  I told her.  "I've gotten used to it over the years.  The only time I DO wear a jacket is when it dips below ten degrees Farenheit or when it's raining."

            "I…see…where is your car?"

            "It's that big white blob in the corner."  I said, pointing to a massive white blob that was a pale blue color in spots.  I unlocked the doors so Uriko could get in and grabbed a snowbrush out of the back seat.  "This may take a while."

            The snow was wet, too, so it was sticking together as I tried to brush it off.  Eventually I just started using the brush as a baseball bat and smacked a lot of huge chunks of snow off of the windows and the windshield.  After that came the sheet of ice that had formed below it.  I sighed heavily and started scraping.  When I got enough of the ice off of the windshield that I'd be able to drive I saw Uriko in the passenger seat and waved at her.  _Nice one, idiot, _I thought to myself.  After another five minutes of scraping I got the ice off of the car, hopped in the driver's seat, started the car up, and headed for the exit.

            "Where exactly do you live?"

            "Make a left."

            It started snowing again, so hard in fact that I was having some trouble seeing more than ten feet in front of me.  Uriko, apparently, could see just fine.

            "Turn right here."  She said.

            As I turned I could faintly see a sign by the street: Topaz Parkway.  It was a new development that only had a few houses out and for sale, but I didn't think anyone had gotten a house there yet.

            "It's the next driveway on your left."  Uriko told me.

            Uriko had one hell of a house; at least it looked that way from the outside.  The whole house was made of brick and suspended over the porch by two large pillars was another room with a large circular window divided into six pieces by a window pane.

            I parked the car and watched Uriko get out of the car.

            "See you tomorrow."  She said as she closed the door.  I smiled and nodded, being the idiot that I am, and threw the car in reverse, only to be greeted by the sound of my car battery dieing.

            "SHIT!"  I screamed as I pounded my fist on the steering wheel several times until I heard someone knocking on the driver-side window.  It was Uriko.  I got out of the car and was greeted by a blast of snow right in the face from the blizzard.

            "Need a hand?"  Uriko asked.

            "My battery died."  I told her, wiping the snow off my glasses as best I could.  "Can anyone here give me a jump start?"

            "I think Alice could."  She said as she waved me into the front door of the house.

            "Alice, too?  How much did that book do?"  I said quietly as I approached her house.

            "What was that?"

            "Oh, nothing.  I'm just thinking about my physics assignment."

            "Oh…well, you can stay in the living room for a bit if you want.  Just take your shoes off here so you don't get the carpet wet."

            "If I want?  What else am I going to do?"

            "I don't know, just wait while I get Alice."  Uriko ran up a nearby flight of stairs.

            Her house was really nice.  Pretty much every room was painted beige.  The family room consisted of a pair of sofas placed near a red brick fireplace.  There were a couple coffee tables near the sofas literally covered in magazines.

            "Hey Scott!"  Uriko screamed from the top of the stairs down the hall.  "Alice is going to help jump-start your car!"

            Only moments after she said that Alice was at the bottom of the stairs.  Like Uriko she looked exactly like her Primal Fury counter part. In fact only Kenji looked different; he was in his alternate costume, or as I call it the Bruce Lee look.

            "Are you going to just sit there or are you going to come and help?"  Alice's voice echoed through the hallway to me.  I quickly got up and half-jogged down the hall.

            "Just let me get my shoes on."  I said.

            I tied my shoes and followed Alice through a side door that lead into the garage where a silver, strange looking car was sitting.  I would've said it was one of those Subaru Outbacks, but there was no make or model indication anywhere on the car.  Hell, it didn't even have license plates!

            "Do you have a set of jumper cables?"  Alice asked me.

            "Yeah, I'll go get them."

            As I walked out to my car Alice pulled her car out so it was facing mine.  In a matter of minutes she was able to jump-start the battery.

            "Thanks for the assist."  I told Alice.  I saw Uriko standing in the garage.  "See you tomorrow, Uriko!"  I shouted.

            "Where the hell were you!?"  The first words out of my mom's mouth; how nice.  "I was worried sick!"

            "I was giving someone a ride home and my car battery died," I explained to her, "But I got it jump-started so I'm okay now."

            "What do you mean someone?"

            "Just a girl."

            A huge grin spread across my mom's face.  "Ooooooo, you have a girlfriend?"

            "No, she just needed a ride home."

            "Alright, you just keep telling yourself that."  She walked off to the family room to catch one of those lame talk shows.

            "Damn parents."  I muttered as I walked into my room and tossed my bookbag on the bed.  I needed to work off some tension, so I naturally turned on Bloody Roar: Primal Fury.  I skipped the intro and went straight to the fights and received a huge shock.

            Not only were the characters alive and kicking, they were actually ripped out of the game itself!  There were large blank boxes where Uriko, Kenji, and Alice were supposed to be.  What concerned me, though, was that I could see another empty box in the screen.  I cycled through the characters to see who it was and sat silent for a moment.

            "Oh shit…"  I whispered to myself, "It's Stun…"


	4. Technical Difficulties Part 4

All characters mentioned from the Bloody Roar series are copyright their respective owners.

            "So it released the bug guy, so what?"  Alex asked over the phone.

            "So!?  This is serious, man!"  Scott had been panicky since he saw that Stun was out of the game about two hours ago.

            "How is it serious?"

            "Do you know how he keeps himself alive?"

            "No."

            "He needs blood."

            "You mean like a vampire?"

            "You could say that."  Scott turned to a turned on tv in the living room.  The news was on.  "Alex, turn to channel five."

            "Okay."

            Scott walked into the living room and turned up the volume on the tv.

            The reporter had a confused look on his face.  "There was a rather bizarre incident just outside of the local mall earlier today.  A group of three men stole several hundred dollars from select stores in the mall, but were apprehended just outside by a large blue man.  Witnesses claim that the men tried to escape, but the man chased them down and proceeded to bite their necks."

            A flustered-looking woman's face appeared on the screen.  "He cornered all three of them over there."  She pointed towards a corner outside the mall which was covered in blood.  "He picked them up one by one, bit their necks, and sucked them dry."

            "When she says that they were sucked dry," The reporter cut in, "She is not kidding.  When the bodies of the robbers were taken in for analysis there was hardly any blood left inside their bodies.  As for the mysterious blue man, some regard him as a hero for stopping the robbers, but others see him as a threat to people's safety since he killed them.  Police are searching for him at this very moment and we will be sure to inform you, the viewers, when more information is available."

            Scott shut off the tv and picked the phone up again.  "I don't believe it."  He said in a monotone voice.

            "Me neither."  Alex responded in the same way.

            A beep could be heard over the line.

            "Hold on, I have another call."  Scott said.  He pressed a button on the phone.  "Hello?"

            "Hi Scott."  It was Kenji.

            "Kenji?  How did you get my number?"

            "I used something called the phonebook."

            "Oh…right.  Well, what is it?"

            "Uriko and I are heading to the mall with a few friends and we were wondering if you wanted to join us."

            "Wait, you're going to the mall?  What about that robbery…and the murders?"

            "What about them?"

"Don't you see some kind of danger in going to the mall after people were killed there?"

"No, because unlike those guys we don't plan on robbing people any time soon."

"Ugh, alright.  Where should I meet you?"

"Just meet us at the rear entrance."

"Okay.  Bye."  I hung up the phone, wondering who exactly these "friends" would be.

The mall was surprisingly busy considering that there had been a murder or three.  I had to park at the back of the lot and walk the rest of the way to the entrance.  I didn't see Kenji right away, but he was probably inside since it was pretty cold that day.  

_I wonder who he was talking about when he said friends_, I thought to myself as I got to the doors.  Standing in front of them were two police officers.  They asked me a couple questions and made sure I wasn't carrying any kind of weapon before they let me enter the mall.  I looked around and saw Kenji standing near a large fountain.  I was keeping my jacket on, not because I was cold, but because I had pit stains the size of basketballs.  So sue me, I get nervous around people from video games that are capable of ripping me to shreds.

I snuck up behind Kenji and said in a low voice, "I'm here."

Kenji grabbed me by the throat and spun around to see who it was.  When he saw it was me he let go of me.  "You shouldn't sneak up on people like that."  He told me.

"It's what I do."  I replied with a shrug.  _Holy crap, he's as fast as _ever, I thought.  I then looked around and asked, "So where are these friends you were talking about?"

"Turn around."  He said.  

I turned and saw almost half of the Primal Fury cast standing behind me.  "GAH!  You scared the crap out of me!"  I gasped.  In truth they almost did scare the crap out of me, but that's something you really didn't need to know.

Kenji continued talking.  "Scott, you already know Alice and Uriko.  This is Yugo, Jane, Alan, Jenny, and Long."

I smiled nervously and said hi.  I had been nervous before but I was particularly nervous about Jane, since she was both my favorite character from the game and capable of pretty much anything as far as pain and suffering goes.

"Where should we go first?"  I asked.

Everyone said something different, so we decided to split up and meet later.  Yugo, Alice, Alan, and Jenny all went to the west side of the mall where an abnormal amount of clothing stores were (actually, I think Alice and Jenny were just dragging the two of them that way).  Uriko, Kenji, myself, and for some reason Long and Jane came with us towards the east side, which consisted of electronics, books, and a few remote athletics stores.  Long and Jane looked like they were heading towards a book store, but I could see an arcade directly across from it.

"If I'm not back in fifteen minutes, keep waiting."  I told the group as I walked towards the arcade.  I admit I was a little surprised when Uriko and Kenji followed me in.  "I have twenty dollars with me, so we can get 60 tokens, that's twenty a piece.  Sound good?"  They nodded in agreement as I fed the money into the change machine.  I gave each of them their tokens and the three of us split up.  I could see Jane (or should I say Shina?  Meh, who cares?)  and Long in the book store across from us.  Somehow I never saw her as a person who was into books, but then again I only knew these people from a video game.

I was heading towards the back of the arcade when I spotted Kenji at a Mortal Kombat: Deadly Alliance machine.  As I walked by I chuckled a little at the idea of a person from a fighting game playing a fighting game.  From what I saw, though, he was kicking ass with Scorpion.

Uriko was at the opposite end of the arcade, ripping it up on the Dance Dance Revolution machine.  For some reason I wasn't surprised that she would be good at that game.

I went towards my usual wing of the arcade; the place where they kept all of the shooting games and, for some reason, Mo-Cap Boxing, which was one of my personal favorites for both exercise and, against the easier opponents, relieving stress.  Seeing as how I was a bit off what with the guys who got sucked dry by Stun, I went straight to Mo-Cap Boxing.

I put in a few tokens and picked up the "boxing gloves" from the console and got in a fighting stance under the sensors that could read my movement.  The first opponent went the same way it always did; a few quick dodges and jabs, plus the always-fun 30-punch rush followed by the KO.  I continued on to the second opponent.  When I knocked him down for the first time I felt like I was being watched.  I turned around and saw Shina standing behind me.  What do you know?  I was right.

"Get bored of looking at books with Long?"  I asked.

"Well, I'm not as much of a book-worm as he can be."  She replied.

"No shit."  I said as I turned back towards the screen.  My opponent had gotten up and was about to hit me with a left hook, but I dodged just in time to nail him in the stomach.

"You should try this sometime."  I told her over my shoulder, keeping my eyes on the screen.  "It's quite a workout."  I KO'd my opponent with an uppercut.  I offered the "gloves" to Shina.

"Sorry, but I prefer the real thing."  She said, cracking her knuckles.  She then gave me a strange look.  "Aren't you a little old for video games?"

"Only the ones with Sesame Street characters in them."  I answered.  Though I couldn't see her, I knew that Shina rolled her eyes at my remark.  By that time I had knocked out the second opponent and made my way to the third.  Kenji, who had apparently played through and beaten Deadly Alliance by then, was now watching me along with Shina.  

"Can't you use kicks at all?"  Kenji asked me.

"Look at the game title."  I told him, pointing to the word 'Boxing'.  "Until they come out with Mo-Cap Karate or anything like that it's all punches."

In the middle of my smart-ass comment the game had proceeded to the next opponent and knocked me out while I was talking to Kenji.

"DAMMIT!"  I screamed as I threw the gloves down.  Kenji and Jane both burst into laughter on the spot.  "Oh, sure, it's funny to you!"

"No, actually it's hilarious!"  Jane choked out in between laughs.

This was definitely not the first impression I had hoped to make on her.

"Nice work, dumbass!"  A voice called from my right.  It was none other than Jack Farthie, in the right place at the wrong time.

"Hello, Jack."  I muttered.  "Don't you have a ribbon you should be twirling about now?"

"HEY!  IT'S A VIBRANT METHOD OF DANCE THAT ECHOES FROM THE DEPTHS OF A PERSON'S SOUL!"  Jack screamed as he punched me in the jaw.

"Ha!"  I screamed back.  "I can still feel a tooth you haven't chipped!"

"Well let's see if I can change that!"  He lunged at me again, but I managed to avoid it and nailed him in the stomach.

"Is that…all…you got?" He wheezed.

"Break it up!"  The manager had come out from one of his backroom hidey-holes and now stood between the two of us.  "I want both of you out of my arcade!  NOW!"  He promptly shoved both of us out, mumbling something about kids these days and violent video games.

"I'll deal with you later."  Jack told me as he walked away.  He stopped and turned back to me.  "And I know it was you that syruped my car!"

I was about to yell something back to him, but a stabbing pain in my jaw prevented me from doing so.  "Ah fink ah 'eed a ge'ift."  I said…or rather tried to say.

"Anyone understand what the hell he just said?"  Jane asked.

"I think he said he needs a dentist."  Kenji guessed.

I pointed to Kenji to indicate that he was right and quickly ran for my car.  _Great,_ I thought, _Just when things start to go well Jack had to step in.  I hope something very bad happens to him…like getting hit by a truck…or something.  That's pretty bad…_


	5. Technical Difficulties: Part 5

All characters mentioned from the Bloody Roar series are copyright their respective owners.

            The very first thing I did was drive home as fast as I possibly could, dodging slow cars and snow plows, which had their work cut out for them as another four inches of snow were on the ground.  Despite that I made it home pretty fast, only to be greeted by a ranting mom.

            "DIDN'T I TELL YOU TO LEAVE A NOTE!?"  My mother yelled.  "I THOUGHT YOU WERE KIDNAPPED BY SPACE MEN!"

            "Ah cou'uht hih ha'er."  I answered.

            "Why are you talking like that?"  She asked.

            I opened my mouth to show her what had happened and went deaf for a couple minutes as she screamed in horror.

            "WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED!?"  She started to yell again as she ran to the phone.

            "Ah go' 'y ahh ha'e' 'o 'e."  I told her.

            "What the hell did you say?"  Mother asked as she dialed someone's number.

            "Ah _go' 'y __ahh ha'e' 'o 'e!"  I said, raising my voice._

            "You need to speak more clearly."  Mother told me.  A voice answered back from the phone.  "No, not you.  I'm talking to my son."

            I grabbed a pen and a piece of paper from the kitchen counter and scribbled out what I was trying to say.  I then showed it to mom, who read it aloud."

            "I got my ass handed to me."  She said, getting another answer back from the phone.  "No, I wasn't talking to you!"

            After about ten more minutes on the phone, complete with four more 'Not you.'s we headed to the dentist's office, which was in a building about three minutes away from my house.  I probably could have walked there while my mom was talking on the phone.  Anyways, she dropped me off at the dentist's office and told me that I could walk home as she needed the car to get to somebody's retirement party…well, it was some kind of party, I don't remember what kind, though.

            The office was pretty busy that afternoon.  Keep in mind that by 'busy' I mean there were three old ladies and a five-year old boy waiting for their appointments.  I sat in the seat next to the magazine rack, which was loaded with six-month old golfing magazines and clutched my jaw as I watched the boy play with a Tonka truck on the floor.  He would spin it around a few times and then start pushing it as fast as he could, only to slam into the wall and repeat the process.  It's no wonder that there were kids in sixth grade who didn't know the ABC's.

            It was about fifteen minutes and twenty-three times that the kid had hit the wall before Doctor Parthing, my dentist, stepped out and called for me to come back.  He looked more like a college professor with his short grey beard and bifocals.  "We're ready for you."  He said, which didn't really sound promising at all.  Still I followed him down the hall and through a door on the left.

            This was probably the most dangerous-looking dentist's chair I had ever seen!  Every kind of pick, drill, and pointy object imaginable was either on a tray near the chair, attached to the try near the chair, or neatly laid out on the table near the try near the chair.

            "Please have a seat," Dr. Parthing told me, gesturing towards the chair, "And try to relax."

            _Relax!?  _How can I relax with a drill going through my jaw!?_  Despite my instincts telling me to grab one of the pointy objects, threaten to cut people, and make my way out the nearest window, I sat in the chair wondering how much pain I was going to be in through the ordeal._

            "Open wide."  Dr. Parthing said as he slipped on a mask and gloves and grabbed a small mirror.  I opened my mouth, at which point he grabbed one of the smaller picks and began tapping around some of my teeth.  "Does this hurt?"  He asked as he dragged his pick across one of my teeth.

            The pain hit my like an eighteen-wheeler driving down the side of an icy mountain.  I screamed, my eyes wide open, my back arched, and my hands gripped firmly onto the arms of the chair.

            "Is that a yes?"  He grinned.

            _You sick son of a bitch, I thought._

            "It appears," He said as he moved towards a desk to the right of the chair, "That this will take a bit of work."  He produced a tank of gas with a hose that had a mask on the end of it.

            _Oh great.  Will I be laughing the torture off or sleeping through it?_

            He slipped the mask on me and told me to take a few deep breaths as he turned up the tank, which I did.  At first I started to chuckle a little, but then I began to laugh really hard.  I was sure it was laughing gas, but then I just stopped laughing and collapsed in the chair, drifting into a deep sleep.

                                    *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *

            I could see myself standing in the middle of a room with tie-dye style paint all over the walls and floor, except for a random poster of Tom & Jerry and a green shag throw-rug.  Somewhere behind me I could hear a door close.  I turned around to see none other than Shina standing at the opposite end of the room, which was about fifty feet away.  Something felt out of place, but I couldn't quite put my finger on it.  All of a sudden Marvin Gaye music started to play from out of nowhere.

            "Okay, where the hell is that music coming from?"  I asked as I looked for the source.  I turned around and was shocked to see that Shina was standing no more than ten feet away from me.  I tried to walk to her, but I wasn't actually moving anywhere.  That's when I realized that I had somehow wound up on a treadmill.  I got off and walked up to Shina, whose eyes were fixed directly upon mine.  I started to feel really nervous and tried to say something to her.  Anything would do, even if it was just a simple 'hi.'  "So…what brings you here?"

            She closed her eyes and leaned in towards me.  What followed was probably the longest, most passionate kiss I would ever experience.  I was so shocked I couldn't even blink.  All I could do was enjoy the moment while it lasted.  It felt like an eternity, but hey, I had no problem with that.  Then we both froze in mid-kiss as the scene faded out and random movie credits started rolling.

                                    *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *

            "All done!"  I heard a voice say.  I couldn't tell who was talking because my vision was a bit blurry.

            "Could you give me another ten minutes?"  I asked as I gestured to the tank.  "I was having the best dream."

            "Really?  Do tell!"

            "Well, I was in this tie-dye room with a Tom & Jerry poster and a green shag carpet when-" My vision had cleared up and I could see who I was talking to.

            Busuzima.

            Everyone within one mile of the dentist's office heard me scream.


	6. Technical Difficulties: Part 6

All characters mentioned from the Bloody Roar series are copyright their respective owners.

            "What's wrong!?"  Dr. Parthing said ran in, panting slightly.  He saw me standing against the wall at the far end of the room with one of his big-ass picks in hand.  Busuzima was standing by the chair, confused.  "Hajime, what's wrong?"

            "I'm not sure, doctor."  He replied.  "The patient just woke up and screamed.  Maybe he needs more work done on him than we thought."

            "No!"  I yelled.  Realizing I was still yelling I took a moment to calm myself before speaking again.  "No, that won't be necessary.  My teeth are-" I was a bit surprised at how my teeth felt.  "Wow, my teeth feel great."

            "Then why did you scream?"  Busuzima asked, grinning slightly as he leaned over the side of the chair and awaited an answer.

            "Well," I started, now a bit uneasy.  I could have told them the truth, but really, who would believe me when I'd say that Busuzima is an evil, overly-flamboyant scientist  who experiments on people and zoanthropes for personal gain and gets it anywhere he possibly can?...Actually, they'd probably believe the last part.  Either way, I couldn't come out and say that so I had to make up something.  "You see, I was…"  I looked around the room for possible ideas.  My eyes fell on Busuzima's green hair.  "At the circus!...And I was…attacked!  By a clown!"  

Dr. Parthing was giving me a 'How-strong-_is­-that-sleeping-gas?' look.  Busuzima just sat there and giggled like an idiot as I set down the pick and edged towards the door.  "Rummy the clown, he was!  It was when I was 10!  I was walking along a row of game booths when he dragged me in between Ring Toss and that game with the darts and the balloons!  He held a gun to my head and laughed whenever I flinched as one of the darts hit a balloon and-"  I had reached the door and glanced at my watch.  "Oh crap, look at the time!  I have to get home, do homework, wash the car, consider suicide or something like that!  BYE!"I rushed out the door of the office, down the hall, and into the lobby.  I was ready to push the door outside open but wound up slamming my face into it, not realizing it was a pull door._

            It was pretty easy to walk home because, for the first time in weeks, it wasn't snowing.  All of the roads and sidewalks had been salted, forming a nice path in between the eight-inch high snow that covered pretty much everything else.  I waited for a line of cars to pass before crossing to the next street, talking to myself the entire time.

            "Okay, this is getting weird; even for me, the guy who likes A1 on pasta.  I have Uriko in my English class, Stun's on the loose, Yugo…well, who cares about him?  Meanwhile I'm getting kicked around by a baton-twirling prep and that green-haired ass-bite is a dentist!"  I screamed as loud as I could, "DAMN YOU VOODOO GRANDMA!"

            It was after I screamed that that I noticed the biker who had stopped next to me.  When the line of cars cleared he gave me the exact same look that Parthing did before crossing the street.

            "I really need to stop talking to myself."  I said as I crossed the street.

            "Then shut up already."  A random passerby told me as he walked past me.

            I spent a lot of time just lying in bed and staring at the ceiling, letting everything that had already happened sink in and thinking ahead to what would come next.  Until now I had been too oblivious to notice that only the good characters had come out of the game.  Now some of the baddies were starting to come out, like Busuzima.  To top things off, Xion, Cronos, Uranus, Kohryu, and the fat guy…whose name escapes me for the moment…were next to make life more complicated.   Reluctantly, I turned on the GameCube to see what was next.

            The intro to the game was extremely short now that most of the characters were out.  I didn't even bother looking until the title screen came up.  I hit start a couple of times and wound up at the character select screen.  Before I could look, though, the phone in the kitchen rang.  I drearily got up, dragged my feet to the phone, and answered it.

            "Bronsin residence.  If you want to sell me something, shove it up your ass."

            "What happened to hello?"

            "Oh, hi Alex.  I've just been a little wired lately."

            "Gee, I had no idea."

            "Hey, I'M supposed to be the sarcastic one."

            "Oh, excuse me, your majesty."

            I sighed and sat down.  "What do you want?"

            "I figured you could use some time to loosen up, so why don't you come to the Crying Critic with me and a few other guys?"

            "Who are these "few other guys"?"

            "Just a few friends."

            "Isn't that a comedy club?"

            "Yup."

            "Alright, I'll go.  I could use a good laugh…By the way, why did they name that place the Crying Critic of all things?"

            "There was a critic there on opening night that didn't like the first act and hurled insult after insult at the comedian.  The comedian got so mad that he jumped into the audience and started beating the living crap out of the critic."

            "…Is that guy still performing there?"

            "No."

            "We're going then."

            I grabbed a jacket and headed out the door, not remembering to check the Character Select screen.

            I couldn't completely remember the last time I had been anywhere near the Crying Critic, but I do remember that it was a lot cleaner back then than it was now.  I didn't even want to know what the suspicious stain on the wall outside was.  Thankfully, it was mostly covered by a gigantic snow drift from the blizzard that hit a couple hours ago and was still going strong; strange how a whole crap-load of snow could just appear out of nowhere.

            Alex was waiting for me outside the entrance in what was quite possibly the biggest coat I had ever seen.  From a distance he looked like a big blue punching bag.

            "Cold enough for you?"  I asked him.

            "Dude, where the hell have you been?"  He asked.  "And where the hell is your jacket!?  It's five degrees out here!"

            "I left it in the car."

            "You're nuts, you know that?"

            "Whatever, let's just hurry up and get inside."

            We both approached the doors and were quickly stopped by what looked like a bouncer trainee.  He had a big nametag on his jacket and had the build of a stereotypical donut-scarfing cop.

            "You fellas got some ID?"  He asked us with a faint southern accent.

            Alex and I pulled out the IDs we had made in the photo lab at the high school.  We made sure to pay attention to detail and had fooled so many people with them that we had been able to do all kinds of stuff with them.

            "Okay, Mister…Weinberg."  He said aloud, "And Mister… Beleviderie."

            "That's Mister Belvedere to you."  Alex said before taking our IDs back as we entered the Crying Critic.

            We managed to suppress our laughter until the front doors shut.  "_That's Mister Belvedere to you_!  Oh man, I almost lost it on that one!"  I choked out in between laughs.

            "Thanks for the complement," He read my ID and handed it back, "Max Weinberg."

            We entered the main hall as the first performer finished his act.  A huge applause echoed off of the walls as Alex and I took our seats toward the back, so as to not attract unwanted attention to the suspiciously young-looking attendees.

            The club owner came out on the stage from the back room as the audience calmed down.  "Ladies and gentlemen," He belted into the microphone, "We are proud to present our next performer.  He made his Crying Critic debut a few nights ago and is quickly climbing the ranks as one of the top comedians today.  In two weeks he will be going on tour before stopping by New York City to shoot his own episode of Comedy Central Presents-"

            "He can't be too bad if he's on CCP."  I whispered to Alex.

            "Please welcome, Golan!  "Ganesha!"  Draphaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!"

            "Oh good God no.  Please tell me he didn't just say-"

            "He did."  Alex replied quickly.

            Sure enough, who should come out on stage in a waddle/run but the fat guy himself, Ganesha, as the audience applauded him.

            "How are you guys doing tonight!?"  He asked the crowd as he grabbed the mic like it was a fresh hot dog.

            "I think I'm going to vomit."  I mumbled as I banged my head against the table.

            "You don't look so good, man."  Alex said as he stood up, "Why don't you call it a night?"

            "Good idea."  I answered as I stood up and made my way to the front doors with Alex.  We could hear the audience suddenly burst into laughter; apparently Ganesha was quite the funny man.  That distracted both of us long enough for the "bouncer" to catch us before we got to the doors.

            "Hold on a minute!"  He said, "I remember now!  Max Weinberg is that drummer on Conan O' Brien's show!"

            "Speak of the devil!"  I exclaimed, pointing behind the bouncer.  "There he is!"

            The "bouncer's" eyes lit up as his head snapped back to look.  "WHERE!?"  He darted off to look for Max as Alex and I slipped out the front doors.


	7. Technical Difficulties: Part 7

All characters mentioned from the Bloody Roar series are copyright their respective owners.

"Azefardinomiganitarrenopinopidabiomiat!"

Ah, the crazy ranting of an old hobo who is standing between you and the car door. Needless to say, I was not amused. Neither was Alex as we stared blankly at the rank old man, ranting endlessly and waving a bottle in a paper bag to and fro. It finally ended when I got so frustrated that I went to take a swing at him, only to have Alex stop me when my fist was a couple inches from his face.

The hobo lurched backwards and his back hit the driver's side door of the car. "Gurretifonartifyster!" He screamed as he stepped to the side and ran full-tilt down the street. I can only assume that that's some kind of gibberish for, _I'm calling the cops_, or something along those lines.

Alex and I just stared blankly at the hobo stumbling down the streets. "How did that work at all?" Alex asked, completely confused.

"I have no freaking clue," I replied, "But let's get the hell out of here before he comes back."

We both got into the Trailblazer and buckled up, just as I noticed the discarded beer bottles piled on the windshield. Not wanting to leave the hobo-less environment of the car, I turned on the wipers and veered onto the main road, sending beer bottles rolling down the sidewalk and into the streets. I could hear the sound of car tires squealing behind me, but I didn't hear a crash, so I didn't stop (not that I would have if I did). I honestly didn't care if I crashed the car and killed the both of us.

"DUDE! SLOW DOWN!"

Alex did seem to care, though. I was dodging my way through traffic at about eighty miles per hour, weaving in and out of the three-lane highway and even passing on the shoulder, just narrowly missing a truck on the side of the road. Fortunately for me, there were no highway patrol cars in our path during my temporary lead-foot phase as I slowly let off the accelerator. Alex watched me with concern, probably for his own life.

"Are you gonna be alright, Scott?"

"I'll be fine as soon as I get home." I spoke frantically, "Then I can relax, get a two-by-four from the basement, lie down in bed, and bash myself in the head until I either pass out or forget any of this ever happened!"

It was a very quiet ride home the rest of the way. Then Alex reminded me that he wasn't my brother, so I drove him back to his house and floored it until I got home again. Thankfully, there weren't any cops or deer on the side streets I took because I wasn't stopping for anything.

It was Saturday, 12:15 a.m. and I couldn't remember the last time it felt so good to be home. Everything about the house felt relaxing; the creaky front door, the ant traps sticking out from underneath the fridge, the stack of dishes in the sink, hell even the answering machine with five new messages on it. Though I desperately wanted to just go to sleep, I decided to see if any of the calls I missed were actually important.

click

_Two –old- messages, and five –new- messages._

_"Hello, I'm calling for a Mr. Scott Bronsin from the Federation of Federation Management Commission and-"_

click

_"Good evening. We'd like to inform you about an exciting new offer from-"_

click

_"You may already be a winner!"_

"So far, so good." I said aloud.

click

_"Hello, jerk-off. I'm-"_

Goodbye, Jack.

click

_"Scott? Hey, it's Uriko, from school."_

Uriko? It's not that I didn't like hearing from her, it's just that it was the last thing I needed at the time.

_"I hope you got your teeth taken care of. You looked like you got hurt pretty bad. That's not why I called, though."_

Oh great, what now?

_"I'm going to have a small party at my house on Saturday to try and get to know some of the other guys at school, and I wanted to know-"_

If I could skip it, stay at home playing computer games all day, and avoid a psychotic episode?

_"If you'd come."_

Damn. Oh well, just because I was invited didn't mean I had to go.

_"I heard that you were into music, so I was wondering if you could bring a few cds over. __Alice__ has nothing but ABBA and Human League."_

I stand corrected.

_"Also, I'm going to have some of my friends over from the mall trip."_

Terrific! Then I can shoot myself in the eyes with a pellet gun and call it a day!

_"Hope to see you there. Bye!"_

click

_End of messages_

It was the first day in about a week and a half that it hadn't been snowing, but the roads were still incredibly icy. Even though I was in a four-wheel drive car, I could still feel the Trailblazer gliding through some of the turns on the way to Uriko's house. I had a plastic bag in the passenger seat, filled with more cds than I cared to count. That's when I could see Uriko's development coming up on the left, and I immediately noticed that there were a few more houses built since the last time I was there. That was the first time I could remember construction of any kind in my neighborhood being done fast. Why couldn't they have fixed the torn-up roads this fast!?

I digress. There were already too many cars (and one motorcycle) taking up the driveway, so I had to park on the street, just far enough away from the fire hydrant for it to be legal. With my bag in hand, I cautiously crept to the front door, trying my very best not to slip and fall on the huge sheet of ice that the driveway had become. Unfortunately, the walkway and the porch were just as bad as the driveway. Have these people ever heard of something called salt? Fortunately, I managed to keep my footing and make it to the front porch, when my feet shot out from under me and my face slammed into the doorbell before I fell to the ground, my head bouncing off the ice and leaving a small crack over it. The cd bag was unharmed, which was more than I could say for myself.

I could hear the door open and saw Uriko appear in my field of vision. "Scott!? What happened!?"

"...Ice." Was all I could say, as the fall had knocked me slightly senseless.

I spent my first fifteen minutes of the party sitting on a couch in the living room with a plastic bag filled with ice on my head, checking out who else came. I quickly realized that there was not a single snobby member of the high school social elite present. In fact, I knew and spoke to on a regular basis every single person there. Bob, Joey, Jeanie, Mike, Katie, Randy, Carl, Jenn, Dave, and even Alex were there. I would have tried to join in on their conversation, but my head was still throbbing from the fall, so all I could pick up were random bits of speech, most of which were punch lines to jokes I didn't get.

"So then," Bob said, "The giraffe looks at the lifeguard and says, "Because I couldn't find the buffet!""

Everyone started laughing, which made my head hurt even more as I gripped the ice bag, now realizing that most of the ice had melted. "Uriko!" I shouted.

"I'm right here."

Indeed, she was actually sitting right next to me. I'll just blame that one on the head shot. "Where's your kitchen? I need to load up on ice."

"Okay. First, you go down the hall across from us, then you'll want to make a right at the first split. Go down two doors and make a left at the wreath hanging on the wall. That will take you to the den. Once there, go through the only other hall on the left of that room and make a right, and you'll be in the kitchen!"

What followed was a long, awkward silence as I let the ice bag fall from my hand. "You're kidding, right?"

No, she certainly wasn't. I could have sworn that her house didn't look so freaking huge from outside! Of course, I didn't remember all of the directions, so I got mildly lost, occasionally wandering into either a bathroom, a closet, or a room that didn't really seem to have a purpose at all; just a couple of chairs and a table. Not taking it to mind at the time, my quest for the kitchen continued. I felt like I was wandering through underground catacombs as I hear the sound of my friends' voices fade... painted and badly-decorated catacombs. After ten minutes of aimless wandering, I finally found a wreath hanging on a wall.

"A wreath." I said aloud. Suddenly, Uriko's directions came back to me. I made a left and was in a room that I assumed was the den and crossed it , making a right in the opposite hall. I almost jumped for joy when I saw a refrigerator come into view. Jogging toward the fridge, I ripped open the ice bag, then threw open the freezer door, only to realize there was an ice dispenser on the door itself. I sighed and closed the door, punching the button for ice as I held the bag underneath the opening. Of course, I forgot to empty the water in the bag, and wound up getting the floor in front of the fridge wet when the ice came. Cursing my own stupidity, I quickly got a couple napkins and mopped up the mess. At the time, I was also a bit parched, so I checked to see if they had any soda in the fridge, but found nothing except for milk, orange juice, and the other usual drinks that don't go well with junk food. _They have to have at least **something** with caffeine in it, besides coffee,_ I thought. That's when I saw something next to the hallway from which I entered the kitchen.

It was a door, propped open that seemed to lead down.

"Of course! They probably keep it in the basement!" I told myself as I set the ice bag on the kitchen counter and approached the doorway. On the way through, I felt my foot catch on the doorstop, and I nearly fell down the stairs, but managed to catch my balance and awkwardly landed on the third step down, hearing the door shut behind me. I paused a moment to regain my composure, and started looking for a light switch until I realized that I could see a faint glow around the corner, thinking that a light was already on somewhere in the basement. Well, there was, but it wasn't quite what I expected.

The basement was set up to double as a place of rest and exercise. To one side I could see a couch that was folded out into a bed with a few sheets tossed around on it and a dresser (or armoire, the weird design made it look like a cross between the two) next to it. In the corner was a tall lamp, which provided almost all of the light in the basement, save for the occasional bulb in the ceiling here and there. On the opposite end there was a weight-lifting bench and a stack of weights next to it, a set of bars leaned against the nearest wall, a treadmill, and a punching bag. Set against the wall next to the bars was a table with a sizable stereo on it, some random cds cast around it. I was taken back by the scene, but even more so when I heard a sudden-

"What the hell are you doing here!?"

Words cannot describe how high I jumped as I heard that sentence. I quickly spun around and was surprised to see Shina standing not more than six feet from me. That's when something in my brain didn't quite connect.

"Wait a minute," I asked, "What are _you_ doing here?"

"You first."

"There wasn't any soda upstairs, so I was checking to see if they had any in the base-"

"Wait a minute... Was that sound earlier the door shutting?"

"Yeah, why do-"

"SHIT!"

Before I could say "confuzzled" she had run up the staircase and tried the door, then came back downstairs, a look of frustration on her face. "What's wrong?"

She walked to the punching bag as she spoke, not so much as glancing at me. "The lock on the door upstairs is busted, so it has to be kept open at all times. Otherwise, it can't be opened from the basement."

I was a bit slow at first, but when I put two and two together, all I managed to say was, "...S...So we're...."

"Yeah."

Trapped in the basement with _her_? This would either be a day I'd look back and smile upon, or a day I'd be struggling to remember from a hospital bed...if I'm lucky.


	8. Technical Difficulties: Part 8

All characters mentioned from the Bloody Roar series are copyright their respective owners.

The scene opens upon the main character, Scott, sitting in a recliner.

Scott: Hey. I'm the in-story version of the author, give or take the name, physical appearance, a few years of age, mental stability, social skills, and a better car. I'm taking some time before this chapter to tell you about something you will see here that will be a bit different than the other chapters. At random points during the story, the story will break due to the end of a sequence that only took place in the main character's own mind. There won't be any kind of warning as to when this will occur, and there will be no special indicator as to when the scene breaks from reality to imagination, although if you can't look back and figure out when that happens, I think you and your education system have bigger problems. Of course, you could simply skip to the end and see what really happens, but where's the fun in that? Without further ado, let the story continue with the chapter that took three months of constant negotiation to get Shina to do, who I am now simply going to call Jane all the time, because it's easier that way.

Scott then gets up and leaves.

* * *

I had no idea how long I was trapped in the basement with Shina/Jane... until I looked at my watch and saw that only three minutes had gone by; three eerily silent minutes. I felt that if I stayed down there much longer, I was going to lose my mind... and just my mind if I was lucky. 

"Don't you have a phone down here?" I asked Jane, who was taking out her frustration with my random act of idiocy out on the punching bag. "Maybe we could send a distress call to the living room."

"The nearest phone," She said between punches, "Is in the kitchen. I'd gladly go use it if someone hadn't locked us down here."

"Hey, how was I supposed to know that the lock on the door was broken? And besides, I don't see you coming up with any ideas."

Apparently she had had enough as she strode towards me. "Well, I do have _one_ good idea."

"Oh yeah? What?"

The last thing I remember was something hitting me really, really hard in the face before I blacked out.

* * *

I was snapped back to reality by the sound of Jane giving one last, hard shot to the punching bag, thankful that I was still in one piece...for the moment. However, three things were annoying me; one I knew, that being the reason why Jane seemed to be living in Alice's basement. The other two were beyond me at the moment. Since we had some time ahead of us, I figured I would get a conversation started to pass the time. At least then every hormone-driven daydream I'd ever had would be out of the picture. "So," I queried, "Why are you living in Alice's basement?" 

Jane looked me over with a suspicious eye for a moment as I leaned back against the wall. She strode over to the fold-out bed and took a seat. "I'm just between places right now. It was this or Yugo's place, and I only trust him as far as Uriko can throw him."

"What about Long?"

"Nah, he lives too far away. Going to work would be too much trouble from there."

I was starting to feel a little more at ease as the conversation continued and strode over to the side of the bed. "Mind if I sit down?"

Without looking, she said, "It's a free country."

"So where do you work?" I sat next to her, keeping a couple feet of space between us.

"I'm a bartender at O' Greevey's; late night shift."

_O' Greevey's? That's the place that's on the news almost every other day for its angry drunken customers causing huge fights._ "Isn't that place dangerous?" In the back of my mind I remembered her profile in Primal Fury saying that she was twenty, and wondered if she was lying about the job, but decided to let it slide for now.

"Hell yes, but I need the work." She held out her right hand, tracing a line across the back of it. "One time I got a huge chunk of glass stuck in the back of my hand from one of the fights, and I had to run myself across town to the hospital, which was where I met Alice."

_Yikes. Well, figures that __Alice__ would work at a hospital._ "Alice works there?"

Jane smirked and tried to hold back her laughter. "No, she had to take Yugo to the ER when he somehow mixed up the grape juice and the fabric softener."

At that point, both of us burst into laughter. When I started calming down, I said, "This is really nice. I mean, when I first met you I was really intimidated and, I'll admit, a bit frightened, but you're really a great person and-"

"Don't tell Long."

"...Don't tell Long about what?"

I very quickly found out as she leaned in towards me and our lips met. My eyes widened slightly and thousands of different thoughts flew through my head, almost all of them being either "what-the-hell" or "go-with-it." The moment was very quickly interrupted, though, as a loud pounding sound from the basement door drew my attention.

* * *

I was startled by the sound of Jane pounding on the basement door. Whether she was trying to get someone's attention on the outside or break the door down, I don't know. After a few minutes, she stopped and came back downstairs, mumbling something that I assumed was more cursing as she walked past me on the bed and moved toward the stereo, snatching a random CD from the table and almost shoving it into the disc slot. Imagine my surprise when, as she approached the bed and sat down on the other end, the stereo started blasting Megadeth so loud the CDs started to shake around the table. 

"I didn't know you were a fan!" I yelled over the stereo. I'm not sure if Jane heard me because she shrugged and then started tying one of her shoes that had come undone. It was at that point that I realized the second thing that was bugging me; Jane's clothes. She wasn't in one of the costumes from the game, but rather a plain old white tee shirt, loose blue jeans, and black worn-out tennis shoes. I was actually staring at her for some time, but she wasn't facing me and couldn't see that I was doing so. My thoughts began to race as "Symphony of Destruction" hit its solo.

_If she's not in costume, she's no longer just a character, but a real person now! I wonder how long it will be before someone finds us. Man, even though that shirt is pretty loose, I can still see her... wow-_ Just as the song ended, I inadvertently said, "They're bigger than I thought."

In Alice's basement, no one can hear you scream.

* * *

"Hey." 

I jumped back on the sofa as Jane spoke. "What?"

"You've been staring into space for the last ten minutes."

"Oh, sorry it's just that-"

I was cut off when I was suddenly tackled onto the fold-out bed. "I'll give you something to stare at." She told me with a smirk.

"...Huh?"

* * *

"Hey." 

I jumped back on the sofa as Jane spoke. "What?"

"You've been staring into space for the last ten minutes."

"Oh." I rubbed my eyes. "I just need a way to kill some time." I looked around the room for a moment, the treadmill catching my eye. "... Meh, why not?"

Jane sounded like she was suppressing a laugh as I stepped on the treadmill. "I'll bet you can't even make three miles."

"Walking or running?"

"All of the above."

"Is that a bet?" I set the treadmill to a light jogging pace.

"I said, 'I'll bet', so yeah it is."

"I'll bet that I can run it the whole way. What if I do make it?"

"I'll think of something. What if you don't?"

"... I'll think of something."

"Alright." Jane strolled over to the stereo and switched it to the radio, which was currently playing Judas Priest. "Go."

I started jogging as Jane sat down on the fold-out bed. I very quickly realized that three miles is a whole lot longer on foot than by car, and though I wasn't out of shape (I'm actually rather skinny), the most running I had done recently was running from the computer to the fridge and back at my house for drinks. By the time I hit 1.6 miles, I was breathing rather heavily, though still at the same pace I set before. Jane had a rather smug look on her face as I glanced to the sofa-bed. I started to waiver a bit, but around 1.9 miles I got a second wind. All I could think about was making it the last mile... well, that and how my lungs felt like exploding as my heart seemed to sync up with the beat to "Living After Midnight". It felt like an eternity before I finally hit three miles and slowed the treadmill down to a walk. Jane didn't seem too thrilled that I actually made it as she had her arms crossed and was looking to the other side of the room, maybe to find something I could win from the bet.

"So," I asked while I gasped for air, "What do I win?"

Jane stood up and moved to the stereo, trying to shut it off, but instead it switched to a station that was playing Marvin Gaye. "Piece of shit!" She screamed as she pounded the side of it. If this were Bloody Roar, that stereo would have flown across the room and taken out the far wall. It was at this point that I realized what this reminded me of-- the treadmill, Marvin Gaye—they were from my dream. Before I could remember all the things that _weren't_ here that were in the dream Jane turned and started towards me. I tried walking to her, then realized I was still on the treadmill, got off, and made my way to her, still breathing somewhat heavily. Our eyes were locked on each other.

"This never leaves this basement." Jane said.

"What never leaves-"

Before I could ask, Jane pulled me in by the neck of my shirt and kissed me on the lips. It felt like the fourth of July, Christmas, the world's largest ice cream sundae, and the deaths of my enemies all in one, but better. It only lasted a few seconds, but in my mind it just went on and on and on... until Jane pulled away and said, "Now quickly! Into the MegaBot!" And the house turned into a giant leopard-man robot while cheesy heroic music played in the background.

* * *

"Hey." 

I jumped back on the sofa as Jane spoke. "What?"

"You've been staring into space for the last ten minutes."

"Oh." I got up to stretch my legs as there was a sudden rumbling sound from above that lasted for a minute or so. "What was that?"

"That was a meteor."

"What?"

"I heard it on the radio while you were spaced out. It was large enough to decimate anything on the surface of the planet."

"... So..."

"So, it's up to us to repopulate the Earth."

"Oh, come on, you've got to-" I turned around and nearly had a heart attack as Jane was standing there in nothing but her panties.

"Got to what?" She asked.

"Nothing!"

* * *

"Hey kid." 

I jumped back on the sofa as Jane spoke. "What?"

"You've been staring into space for the last ten minutes."

"I need to kill time somehow. And don't call me 'kid'. I'm only three years younger than you."

I couldn't stop myself. Jane suddenly turned back to me with a suspicious look in her eye. "... How old am I?"

I tried to think of a way out, but all signs pointed to 'screwed'. "Listen, I was-"

One of Jane's hands tightly gripped me between the shoulder and the neck, making things rather uncomfortable to say the least. Her gaze could have burned a hole through titanium. "How old am I?" She asked much slower.

"...Twenty."

As soon as I spoke the door to the basement swung open and a familiar voice called out to us. "Scoooooooooott!" Uriko shouted. "Are you down there?"

"Y-Yes!" I answered as Jane let go of my shoulder moments before Uriko came charging down the stairs.

"Ooooooooh," Uriko said, grinning as she looked from me to Jane and back, "Were you two having fun while we looked for you-"

"NO!" Jane and I yelled in unison.

"Hey, it was just a question; no need to get worked up about it." Uriko said.

"I'll give you something to get worked up about!" Jane replied angrily.

_Oh no, that crappy dialogue can only mean one thing._

Just then an ominous voice from above said, "ROUND ONE! GET READY! FIGHT!"

* * *

Uriko waved a hand over my eyes as I slowly returned to reality (or sometihng close to it anyway). "Coming?" She asked, making a gesture to follow her upstairs. I nodded and she started ahead of me. Before I followed, though, I looked back once more at Jane, who was standing by the bench with her arms crossed, staring intently at me. I felt a chill down my spine that wouldn't go away until I eventually left the party, went home, did a full sweep of the house, locked all the doors and windows, made sure all the phone lines worked, turned on every light in the house, and fell asleep with a BB gun and three baseball bats within reach. 


	9. Technical Difficulties: Part 9

All characters mentioned from the Bloody Roar series are copyright their respective owners. The play _Antigone_ is by Sophocles and I take no credit for any lines from it presented here. P.S. If you haven't seen _Antigone_, GO SEE IT! Ganesha's joke belongs to Gabriel Iglesias, the loveable fluffy comedian.

All night the only thing I could think about was every scary movie I had ever seen; every horror movie where someone got chopped up onscreen; every character I'd seen ripped to shreds by zombies, and how none of those scenes could be worse than whatever Jane would have done to me if Uriko didn't have such amazing timing. Jane's stare was emblazoned into my memory even as I woke up the next morning, realizing I was twenty minutes from being late for school.

I sprang from my bed near the top of the hour,

Eating my breakfast while taking a shower.

Like a flash I got to class on time

And realized I left my backpack behind.

Today in particular was the wrong day to do so, as I had forgotten my English book and today the class was reading _Antigone_, which meant that I would have to hear yet another classic work read by a group consisting mostly of vacant pop culture leeches who couldn't pronounce "Sophocles" to save their lives. The second I heard the girl reading for Antigone say, "What hat? Not Crayon de-stained our brothers", I knew this would be a long class. I was reading for the part of the Guard from Alex's book and Uriko, by virtue of most of the class being too sleepy to read, volunteered for the part of Creon. We were at the part where I had to come in and Uriko, who had until this point been reading just as half-assed as everybody else, looked up at me and winked before my cue. What was she going to pull?

"My liege," I began less than enthused, "I will not say that I come breathless from speed, or that have plied a nimble foot; for often did my thoughts make me pause, and wheel round in my path, to return." The whole time I read my lines I had one eye on Uriko, who was grinning evilly.

"And what is it that disquiets thee thus?" Uriko said as she leaned forward in her desk slightly.

"Well, this is it.-The corpse-some one hath just given it burial, and gone away,-after sprinkling thirsty dust on the flesh, with such other rites as piety enjoins."

At this point, Uriko stood from her desk. "What sayest thou? What living man hath dared this deed?"

_She's getting into it_. "I know not; no stroke of pickaxe was seen there, no earth thrown up by mattock; the ground was hard and dry, unbroken, without track of wheels; the doer was one who had left no trace. And when the first day-watchman showed it to us, sore wonder fell on all. The dead man was veiled from us; not shut within a tomb, but lightly strewn with dust, as by the hand of one who shunned a curse. And no sign met the eye as though any beast of prey or any dog had come nigh to him, or torn him." Uriko was now slowly walking over to my desk with her book in hand, glaring at me coldly, even though when Uriko glares it's more so funny than threatening. "At last, when all our searching was fruitless, one spake, who made us all bend our faces on the earth in fear; for we saw not how we could gainsay him, or escape mischance if we obeyed. His counsel was that this deed must be reported to thee, and not hidden. And this seemed best; and the lot doomed my hapless self to win this prize. So here I stand,-as unwelcome as unwilling, well I wot; for no man delights in the bearer of bad news."

There was a short pause as the guy reading for the Senate leader had dozed off. Not bothering to let him read his line, Uriko was now standing right next to me and leaned down toward me as she spoke. "Cease, ere thy words fill me utterly with wrath," She said in a harsh tone, "Lest thou be found at once an old man and foolish. For thou sayest what is not to be borne, in saying that the gods have care for this corpse."

_Oh, she's REALLY getting into it. Well, two can play at this game._ I stood and backed away from her slightly. "The doer vexes thy mind, but I, thine ears."

"Ah, thou art a born babbler, 'tis well seen."

"May be, but never the doer of this deed."

"Yea, and more,-the seller of thy life for silver."

I exclaimed, "Alas! 'Tis sad, truly, that he who judges should misjudge."

Uriko got right in my face and said, through clinched teeth, "Let thy fancy play with 'judgment' as it will;-but, if ye show me not the doers of these things, ye shall avow that dastardly gains work sorrows."

She then went back to her seat as one of the few students who was awake yelled, "DRAMA QUEEN!"

I didn't see Uriko again until lunch, and it was just as well. Her stunt in English was more than enough action for my entire day, let alone one class.

Alex held a table in the back corner of the lunch area, securing a few chairs with his legs and his bookbag.

"So you're finally saving me a seat now?" I asked as he removed his bookbag.

"Yeah," He answered, "I was getting tired of hearing you whine about not having a seat."

"Shut up," I muttered as I slapped my sack lunch on the table. Through a distant window the glare of a car pulling into the parking lot glimmered, causing me to jump in my seat and jerk my head towards it. For just a split second, I thought it was her.

"Paranoid much?" Alex joked, poking at what appeared to be green beans.

"When Jane, or Shina, or whatever you call her gives you a death glare, yes."

"Death glare? What ever for, Shina fan number one?"

I was hesitant to tell Alex because I knew he would have enough jokes for the next five years from it. Just then, Uriko and Kenji arrived with their trays.

"Thanks, Alex!" Uriko beamed as Alex removed his legs from the chairs.

"Hey you two," I mumbled.

Uriko gave me a concerned look. "Wow, Scott, you look terrible. Did Jane really get to you that much?"

_Oh crap, she's going to tell them isn't she?_

"I mean," she continued, "what's the big deal? So the two of you were locked in the basement for awhile. Big whoop!"

Alex spat out whatever he was attempting to eat, as did Kenji.

"You were what!?" Alex exclaimed, his face somewhere between surprise and laughter.

"You were where with who!?" Kenji was just surprised, thankfully.

"Oh yeah." Uriko grinned mischievously. "They were locked in Alice's basement for an hour or so. Who knows what they were up to down there!"

And the floodgates opened. Alex burst into uncontrollable laughter, drowning out my yelps that nothing happened except my near-death experience. Kenji's brain seemed to have gone on vacation, as he hadn't moved from his wide-eyed stare in some time.

"Wait, you were there! How did you not-"

"I left early to finish my Physics project!" Alex cut me off, able to speak amazingly well through his laughs.

_I will never live this down._

I wasted no time driving home after school finished. The recent wave of unseasonable warmth made the roads much easier to drive on, which meant I could spend an extra two minutes debating whether or not to see a shrink.

I left my bookbag at the front door, walked into the family room, and flopped onto the couch, grabbing the nearby remote and flipping on the TV. It was on some random news channel that my parents find interesting (somehow). Just as I was about to change the channel, though, I read the banner across the bottom of the screen:

NEW GUBERNATORIAL NOMINEE

The news, however, was not as stunning to me as the person it was attached to. Standing at a podium in a suit and tie was none other than Xion in all his pale, soulless glory. With the flick of a remote I immediately changed the channel, only to be greeted by Ganesha doing stand-up.

"Trust me ladies, when I go to a dance club I can tear it up hardcore!" He said, "That's right, for a good thirty seconds!"

I would have changed the channel again had I not feared coming across something worse, like Uranus in a sailor outfit singing classic opera while doing the Charleston.


End file.
